There are two ways of living your life. The first is by rote, living by the standards, goals, or values that someone else dictates. The other is by living the life that you want to live – true to your own values, being able to set and follow your own goals, and living in the knowledge that you have set your path, and you decide on your next move.
The problem is that a lot of people don’t realise that they are living the first type. Although it is more than likely not intentional, they are led by what is going on around them and influences from others that rubbed off on them as they were growing up.
You might decide though that the second option (as I have written it) seems selfish. But is it?
Seven Questions to Ask Yourself
- What aspect of my life motivates me?
- Is this the career I have always wanted?
- What would it mean to be true to my values?
- How often do I stop myself doing something because of what others think?
- On a scale of 1-10, how would I score my personal happiness?
- What issues/problems am I carrying that I have no control over?
- If there were no obstacles, what is the first step I would take to change things?
Is there anything selfish about these questions? No. All you are doing is taking a closer look at yourself. This is what a Life Audit is – finding where the subtle changes can be implemented in manageable steps, in order to help you improve your mental and physical wellbeing.
Look at It Another Way
- Can you identify the times when you were happiest?
- Can you list out your achievements?
- Can you remember when you felt most complete and fulfilled?
- Can you remember what was happening in your life during these times?
There is a shift in thinking between both sets of questions, the second list triggers positive emotions and feelings, unlike the first one. When your life is in a positive spin rarely will you question yourself as to why that is? You go with the flow and your confidence is high. But when that trajectory changes, looking at the why becomes important.
It is a given that negatives happen in our lives, but we also have lots of positives that can so easily be forgotten when all our focus is drawn away from them. Rebuilding confidence takes time and getting rid of what is causing our negative emotions and thoughts takes practise.
What Do You Think About Yourself?
In asking yourself this question please remember, you are made up of so much more than the negative thoughts you are allowing yourself to believe. There is a way to question these negative thoughts and put them to rest once and for all, and although a simple process, it does need to be practised. See the Six Steps to remove your negative self-thoughts.
If your best friend came to you and said they felt confused, unsure, and full of self-doubt, how would you respond? The chances are you would chat with them, help them see the error in their thinking by highlighting all the good and positive things about them. You would help rebuild their confidence and self-esteem and support them through their feelings. You would listen.
Putting You First is Not Selfish.
A Life Audit forces you to listen to yourself on a deeper level. As I mentioned earlier, it’s in our nature to want to attempt to fix things and help and sort out the woes of others, but just like on a flight, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before you can help others. This article is about recognising when your tank is running low; when you need to prioritise yourself, and removing that which is holding you back.
A Life Audit is the equivalent of leaving your car in for a full service. The mechanic goes through his list, he unclogs the filters, puts in fresh oil, and when the checklist is complete, you know it is safe to motor on until the next one is due. The type of list that you check off for yourself will of course be slightly different, but none the less, you are servicing your own engine to ensure your mind and body are in a healthy place.